The night before my ninth chemo

klara mcdonnell

I had my weekly pre-chemo blood test this morning. I had a very broken sleep last night and awoke feeling nervous about heading outside. Perhaps I need to cut down on watching the news a bit. About a week ago I decided to remove the Facebook apps off my phone and just login to my account when I am on my Mac. I was getting overwhelmed by messages from people, some I had never even met saying things like "will your treatment still go ahead?" and passing on incorrect information about the virus (videos and audio clips). I'm sure most of these messages were well-intended. I would also say the videos/audio clips were mass sent to their friends but it became too much for me. I haven't felt this on edge in a long time, although I know I am not alone in feeling this. 

I decided to take a Xanax after my breakfast. I usually only take these for emergencies (when my anxiety is really bad).  I got down to Carlow town early and felt brave enough to venture into Tesco first for some food products. I obviously looked a little eccentric heading in wearing my glasses, turban, scarf up to my nose and blue plastic gloves. Strangely enough, zero fucks were given by me. I was relieved to see only a handful of people, all wearing masks and equally trying to avoid me. The nurse at the clinic was fully kitted out in a mask, gloves and protective plastic over her uniform. When I got home I saw some parcels had arrived for me. A new wig from (another one!) and masks from My friend Rachel Masterson had kindly bought them for me from the site. Late afternoon I received the call from Kilkenny hospital to say my bloods were ok and to ask me general questions in relation to the virus. I laughed as usual when they asked me had I been outside the country. I'm currently picking out my outfit for tomorrow's chemo session - it will be my 9th one. I like to dress up for the hospital and treat it as something positive. You'd swear I didn't get out much! I do know I'll be wearing one of my new masks with whatever I decide upon wearing. 

Klara x


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